I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
You smell like stripper and shame
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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