Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Randomize
