During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
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