she woke up with a sticky ear
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
Shame - the story of my life.
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