Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
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