how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
Randomize
