Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
Randomize
