We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
