puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
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