Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
