Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Randomize
