Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize