I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
Randomize
