He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
He better not be in your backpack
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
