Heybabeimwearingurpanties
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
Randomize
