Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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