Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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