for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
I need mimosas to revive my soul
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
