): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
Randomize
