we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
I have post one night stand depression
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