Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
