I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Randomize
