I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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