we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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