I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
there is puke in my bra ... again
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