apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
