making cat noises will not fix the situation.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
I got her a Nickelback box set.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
A bitchslap is in order.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
