I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize