I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
My cat gives me a boner
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Randomize