Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
