drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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