sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize