I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize