U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
