It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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