Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
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