Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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