Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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