Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Randomize