Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
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