Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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