last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Randomize
