"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Randomize
