So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
This girl is more easily done than said...
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
