just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
