but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
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