No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
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