they need to just BURY HIM!
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
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