Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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