Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
