She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize
