i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
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