oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Randomize
