I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
How many fucks given?
0.12846
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
Randomize
