"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
