You surviving the open bar?
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hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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