She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
