No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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