So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
