You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
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