I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
You made out with two different species that night
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
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